Sorry, Is Just A Five Letter Word

 

How many times have you heard the words, "I'm sorry" or some other apology and even though your heart and mind told you they meant nothing, you allowed yourself that moment of "Next time it'll be different"?

This is a short encouragement and slight scolding.

Apologies are just words. Things won't be better until you get better. Not until you change direction, Not until you change your perspective. Not until you change partners.

Stop saying sorry, when you're not.

Friendship

I saw this somewhere and it said, author unknown. I wish I could tell that person thank you. You made me a better friend and helped me to understand that to some people I was just an acquaintance. 

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.

It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless. 

Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen. 

Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it.

Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go.

Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud.

They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them.

They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

Author Unknown 

Lesson Learned

No More Commas

I've known a secret for almost two years now. I stumbled upon it sometime in 2012. It involved plane tickets, pictures and a trip that I was vaguely told about two months later. The person doesn't know that I know, but I know. The longer I keep this hidden, the angrier I get.

I'm guarded. VERY guarded. Over the years, I've been given more than enough reason to be. I don't like confrontation so often I walk away. That's probably not the best solution and I promise you it's not the easiest, but with my David Banner type personality most times I think it's best. 

My brother said something the other day that resonates in my mind. He said,

 "Don't put a comma in your life, where there's supposed to be a period."

That guy may be on to something. I've been holding back and sometimes

walking away from things saying that I'm cool with it, while it's still festering in the back of my mind. I need to bring closure and start fresh. The comma says "wait, there's more." The period says, "I'm done with this, right here."

TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT:
Find where you've been putting the commas in your life and say, 

I'm done with this. Full Stop.

It's time to do that and move on.

Now about that secret I've been keeping...

Live Free

Tаkе a trір dоwn mеmоrу lane, gо back tо your сlаѕѕrооmѕ аnd tаkе a lооk around.

A сlаѕѕrооm іѕ one рlасе whеrе wе gеt to interact with a lоt of different реорlе on a vеrу close bаѕіѕ. We get tо rub ѕhоuldеrѕ and соrnеrѕ wіth very different people аnd wе get to know thеm on a one to оnе bаѕіѕ. Sо how many оf your classmates did you genuinely like?

I dоn’t mеаn lіkе thеm as classmates but аѕ реорlе. Was іt easy tо gеt along wіth all of thеm? Thаt is whу wе оftеn еnd uр wіth bеѕt frіеndѕ or сlіques іn сlаѕѕrооmѕ.

Wе dо not have tо lіkе еvеrуbоdу. And everybody doesn't have to like us. I learned that lesson a few years ago and I've been happier because of it. I no longer felt the pressure to measure up. Now...

Letting Go

Letting go isn't easy but sometimes it's necessary.

Protect the Babies

I know I've been talking about my online dating experience but I had to take a break. My computer was in the shop. Today on my newly repaired PC I tackle the world one word at a time.

Something has been bothering me. Two days ago I saw on my newsfeed that a mother (an acquaintance) had posted a picture of her seven year old daughter in an opened back shirt for Valentines Day standing in the (look back at it) pose. Let me pretend innocence and say she wanted us to see the back of her baby's shirt, despite the sexual connotation of the pose itself. I try to stay out of making suggestions to parents because MANY get offended and throw the (you don't have any children so hush) card.


Fast forward to today and I see two more photos of girls under ten with these provocative poses. I don't get it. Why are we encouraging this overt sexuality in our babies? Don't the predators have enough to work with? Why serve them your child's innocence on a platter?

I get it, we live in a more open world. And don't think I'm just saying girls, because the boys are at danger too. It's just that whenever I see parents posting pictures of their kids in a provocative nature I get antsy. I wonder, "what the hell were you thinking?" 

I still believe in the future of our children. I hurt for them when I see that the adults that should be their protectors are leading them like lambs to slaughter. Even as I write this I feel the heat from the tears that are forming in my eyes. 

I just want to know, who will protect the babies.

Feeling Love

This is a time of love. At least for the next nine days or so. There's something about a day that focuses on couples that can make a person reflect on their solitude. So the other day I decided to fall in love. It was as hard as I thought it would be.

The first thing I fell in love with was a cup of coffee from a coffee spot that I frequent.

The barrister said, "Hey you."
Then told another customer, "She's a regular."
To which I replied, "You know I'm in love with this place."
The first sip was beautiful. Fragrant with the right amount of sweetness. I sighed at that perfect cup.

I sat at a table outside, a woman passed me walking her puppy. The dog turned around and ran to where I was sitting. I laughed as I reached down to pet him. He licked my hand. The woman ran over and said, "I'm sorry he doesn't usually do that. It's must be love at first sight".

Then a lady sat at the table next to me with her baby. Overwhelmed by her baby, baby bag and stroller, she spilled her drink. I could see the frustration on her face. I gave her some of my tissues and assisted her in the clean up. Then the baby started crying. The mother put one hand on her forehead. I sat at their table and asked, "Do you mind?"

I picked up the baby and began to talk to him and he laughed and giggled and grinned. She said, "You have a gift". I returned him to his mother and left.

I then realized that love was all around me, waiting to be embraced. And I smiled.

I'm on Facebook. Let's Talk Ali In Print

Bills Mean...

At the end of the month there always seems to be a new bill. After I've paid utilities, insurance, grocery, credit cards other living expenses then some other miscellaneous shows up. Today at the mailbox, I threw them all up and laughed.

I could complain about them because something just hit me. Every month the bills come, and every month I pay them. But that wasn't what hit me this morning. What made me happy was that every month the bill collectors knew exactly where to find me. I know the neighbors may have thought I lost my mind, but I haven't.

As I collected the envelopes from the freshly cut grass and walked toward the door of where I live, I smiled. Bills are good, I thought. Bills are good. My grandfather told me that once but I have thought of it since he died.

I never thought of it this way before and I'm grateful for my blessings because next month when I see those bills I'll remember....

I'm not homeless.

Stand Up To Write Preview

Just giving my followers a sneak peek of my book Stand Up To Write.

Stand Up To Write is a collection of my personal thoughts coupled with quotes from some of my favorite authors. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

There is nothing to writing.
All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
Ernest Hemingway

Every day I hit a blank page like a wall. 

Like a wall, depending on your impact, it hurts a little or it hurts a lot. I think with all creative arts (acting, music, writing, dance…) if you’re passionate about it, you leave DNA in your work. Sometimes it’s your past that you leave; sometimes it’s hurt or present anger. There are times when my un can’t be contained and it shows in the writing. 

When I think of the many pained days I've spent with my legal pads just telling the yellow sheets how I felt. Sometimes I published, sometimes I didn't  But I just let the emotions go. I found a legal pad when I was moving the other day and I could see the stains and places where the ink ran. I guess those were extra emotional days. 

No matter how it’s expressed, writing gives us the opportunity to pour out of ourselves. It gives people a chance to see what we’re made of. I don’t think I’d do it if I couldn't leave a little of myself on the page. 

So maybe today I’ll bleed a little, just a pin prick amount. But my DNA is in even that tiny drop. 

Look for Stand Up To Write on Amazon and Google Play, 11/1/2013