I just realized how much of a doormat I am. I don't know how it took me so long to figure it out BUT I do know why.
There is a generation of women that were raised a little Donna Reed or let me bring it a little twenty-first century. Do you remember Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives? As repressed as I now see her, I loved her character. Yes, of course, she had that slight Stepford quality but there was nothing that Bree wouldn't do for those that she loved.
Self-sacrificing, not a hair out of place, stand by your man Bree.
But during the course of that show, something in Bree snapped. She began to realize that making everyone happy was driving her completely insane. She was slowly losing herself to the desires of other people. Bree was a doormat.
Enter Ali
I spent a lot of time making sure I was perfect for a whole lot of people. I saw to their needs, desires, wishes. I sacrificed my energies to see them through, to help them overcome. I've been the encourager, the enabler, the wifey, the friend and put more in than I was getting.
Then I realized that people are selfish and no matter how good you are to them, their selfishness is what controls them. How did I realize that in my life?
Between April and May, I lost three important people in my life and the one person that I depended on to be my sunshine in my cloudy moment was too emotionally distant to care. It was at that rainbow moment that I realized that I was giving too much and needed to start...
