Together

When I've tried my best and failed
And my dreams come tumbling down
Be my strength and comfort
Assured that things will turn around
Can I call out your name
And know that you'll be there
Caring for my troubles
My sorrows, hurts and fears

When life is filled with problems
Heartaches and real pain
I need to know that you're there
When sunshine turns to rain
I need to know you love me
In every situation
That your love will never die
Fade or take a vacation

I promise to love you always
And cherish you everday
To lend a listening ear
When you've had a trying day
For life's not always sweet
And times are often hard
Together we can make it
Our love will never part.

Always

This was originally written when I was 16, I recently found my journal and this entry made me smile. So I decided to share


Tell me that you love me
Say you'll always care
Lie and say I have your heart
That you'll always hold me near

Let me feel your heartbeat
And on my face your kiss
My heart is yours to hold
If I'm granted my wish

Days when I feel lost
When my heart is shaded blue
Can I know that even then
I can turn to you

In the midst of my fear
And my heart wont go on
Be ready with your shoulder
For me to lean on

Forever Gone Away

You need to understand
I can't keep going on
No way I can pretend
I can't feel what's wrong

You need to see
My heart can't take the pain
My tears won't stop falling
They pour like rain

Whenever we said goodbye
How'd we get caught
In all these lies
And now forever's gone away

Why not just leave, goodbye
Instead my heart broke
You made me cry
And forever's gone away

Today Was A Good Day

Today was a good day.

I smiled and I laughed and at some point I even cried.

Through the tears I still felt like today was a good day.

Even though silently I wished to run away.

I wanted to spread my wings and take off

From the highest point and soar above everything

See it was a good day.

I hold to everyday and every dream

As if it were a lifeline

These dreams will take me there

To that place so far so long

I look back at today

With its ups and downs

Its twists and turns and without a doubt

I look up and say

Today was a good day

Just Smile

All too often sadness, depression can overtake you and leave you in a state of despair. It's then, it's at your breaking point that you need to break out a smile.

Interestingly enough, a smile can make a huge difference. Not just any smile. We've all seen those smiles

The Disingenuous Smile - they don't mean you any good and you know it
The Sly Smile - they're up to something (not necessarily bad, just slick)
The Just Because Smile - I'm smiling because I think that you expect me to smile

Those aren't the smiles you're looking for. This particular smile comes from someone that cares.

And you know what? They don't have to know you, or your situation. They just have to be sincere, and NON JUDGMENTAL, sympathetic to the fact that everyday has its degrees of highs and lows. They just have to CARE.

So today I'm gonna smile. And keep smiling.With everything going on in the world, maybe this smile will brighten a heart and project hope. A hope that happier, more productive days are around the corner.

Somewhere, someone needs to see your smile, so go ahead SMILE!

This Man

I close my eyes and there he stands.
A man without a face.
I reach for him
It seems like the more I reach
The further away he becomes
This dream all mine haunts me at daylight
It's as if he wants me to feel this pain.

Once I remember running to him
He didn't welcome me with open arms
Instead he remained as distant as before
I grew tired of running so I stopped
And there he was, still far away

Sometimes I think I hear him
laughing in the distance
Does he laugh and find joy in my calamity
I've made a vow. I will reach him
I won't stop till I see him face to face

His face has become my passion
I wonder about this man
Is he the prince little girls dream of
The man of my fairy tale world
I want to know him but he haunts me
And I don't know why
Do I deserve this, in my heart it's torment

He will answer someday
For he is my passion
This man of my dreams

Restoring A Dream

For the first time in a long time, I felt my baby move. And not just move; it was an actual kick. Any of you remember when you first realized that you were ”carrying” and can identify with every emotion that the territory comes with. There’s an unparalleled excitement. You want to share your good news with everyone, because you can’t imagine anyone not being as excited or happy as you. Sooner or later when everyone starts giving their advice on your baby, you begin to share less and keep your mind on your due date. But what happens when you don’t feel what you know is normal in your condition? You feel time has stopped, you’re overdue and your baby isn’t moving. Then you begin to worry about the fulfillment of what was conceived so long ago. You worry and you fear that there may be something wrong with your baby. And when a period of time passes and nothing happens your biggest fear is that your baby might be dead.

No, I’m not pregnant. But I’m still carrying a dream that I’ve long had. I didn’t want an aborted dream. But I was so afraid that that was happening.

At first I thought my dream was stillborn, but came to realize that there was a big difference between an aborted dream and a stillborn dream. If my dreams ended up being ”stillborn”, it was because there was nothing I could do about it. It was too much for me to carry or even handle. It just couldn’t sustain itself and it wasn’t ready for the outside world. A lot of people have stillborn dreams and I honestly thought that was my case. But it wasn’t so, my dreams were being aborted. And it was because either I or someone I’d given opportunity to had purposely and forcibly began to destroyed my dream.

I think what was happening was, I was willfully letting someone give me an abortion. It was someone that didn’t understand. They didn’t know or didn’t care how long I’d been wanting and longing for the manifestation of what I’d conceived. They weren’t there through the tears of conception, when I cried out ”I need more”. They weren’t there when I sat on the edge of a bed asking if there was something wrong with me. They didn’t know that I questioned my ability to conceive, let alone give birth. And gradually I allowed them to kill my baby.

From the time I conceived, I was excited. It took a while before I realized everyone didn’t understand my conception, nor did they share in my excitement. Maybe it’s because what people don’t understand they seek to discredit. I don’t know if it was merely anxiety, but even people that I expected support from, didn’t show any. I think that was why I partly forgot that there was something on the inside of me that needed nurturing for it to be healthy enough to grow and be born, free of defects and deficiencies.

I stopped feeding the dream. I stopped seeking advice on how to keep it alive and healthy. I had heard so much negativity about my conception and subsequent pregnancy. I had heard so much talk of ”what are the possibilities of you accomplishing that?” and ”Do you know how hard that is?” that they convinced me that my dream was too much of an undertaking. I began to think that I didn’t want my baby.

I continued month after month with a dying baby. I stopped even listening when encouragement came saying, ”You’re almost at your due date.” simply because I had fostered so much negativity. I began to tell my dream, ”you’re too much for me”, ”we’d both be better off if I let you go”. This is why I knew it wasn’t a stillborn. With the stillborn dream there comes a peace, because you’ve done all you can.

That aborted dream is the one that kills you, because YOU gave up, not the dream. As I lay back with an inexperienced, uneducated, misguided, back alley dream killer; inside me, a baby struggled to survive, because it wanted to live. And I felt a kick. See as I lay there, with my heart breaking because I didn’t want my dream to die. Someone came by and said to me,

”You are a unique woman, don’t be afraid because what you carry in you greater than you could ever imagine and will be born.” ”HOLD ON, Ali, HOLD ON!”

And my baby kicked!

That was a few days ago and it’s been kicking ever since.
Now every day, when get up, I rise with a completely different outlook and a burning to make this happen and see this to the end. I rise knowing that I’m just that much closer to my due date and I WILL DELIVER a healthy dream!

So maybe I’m saying this for you…. If you pay close attention, and stop ignoring it, you may feel your (dream) baby kick too!